Hello everyone, I'm an twenty years old guy. I want to ask you to read my story.

At 12 years of age I saw that I needed glasses, and got them, but as the stubborn child I was I didn't use them for a year, until my eyesight became worse and I got myself contact lenses. I used these contact lenses for one year and it was perfect, no pain while I had them in my eyes, and good eyesight. But then, when I was about 15, my lenses started to hurt my eye, and I started only wearing them when I didn't want to use my glasses, like with football/soccer, or to parties. At that time I said to my optician that I saw sometimes a sort of "watery/water like" sight, and that the lenses couldn't be good. So I changed the type of lenses and type of lens-liquid many times. This was only a little bit and I lived my life (at age 15-16) with glasses, and sometimes wearing lenses which gave pain to my eyes and a little bit of bad eyesight sometimes. When I got 17, I stopped with football/soccer because i just couldn't see and concentrate on it with my lenses anymore. I also discovered that it was not only with my lenses, but also with my glasses (not as bad as with the lenses, also because of the pain I had with lenses) that I had a strange little problem with my eyesight, I had to focus more than others to read. With everything I had I managed to finish my high school that year. I had a feeling of relief over myself. Then there was a long vacation, and I then Went to university. It was at this time that my problems really got worse, where I could live with it before, it became harder for me. The first two months were allright, I could finish two subjects. But then, when I started to have driving lessons because I wanted to try it, I discovered that it was unsafe for me, and that I couldn't understand what my eye problems were. Then, in January 2015, when I was 18, everything became so worse that I couldn't really learn for the subjects I had to do exams for, I could barely read my telephone, and the eye doctor said for the fifth time that he couldn't see anything that indicated something was wrong, and that my glasses where at the good strength. I went on, but after two weeks, it was Februari 14 to Februari 17, my eyesight became so bad that I couldn't read my telephone, and couldn't do anything. I was hopeless, and returned to the doctor to tell me what was wrong with me, this couldn't be neglected anymore. Then, it was an other doctor than I had before, this doctor mentioned Visual Snow and I immediately recognised the symptoms (allthough I now know that its only one of the things I have). I thought, okay, lets find an solution and I can go on with my life. This exact state went on for 1,5 years. I lost contact with almost everybody, except for the best friends I have because I couldn't live my life anymore, I couldn't go to university anymore, but didn't want to give op so I tried to still do exam in some subjects, with summaries of the subjects from other students I learned and had oral exams. At these days in Februari I also lost my job because of this. These days in Februari everything changed. I went to the eye doctor very often, for the visual snow but also for the pain in my eyes I had when I wore lenses. Because of these lenses and glasses, it was even harder to deal with everything. I couldn't read, drive, have a job, attend university, go to friends, I lost everything. My life went by, and nothing could save me. Then I decided to get my eyes lasered, so I wouldnt have to have the pain from wearing lenses anymore, and also didn't have to wear the glasses anymore (the glasses made everything even harder because of the change between wearing glasses and not wearing anything at all). I knew this wouldn't help my illness, but it would at least allow me to stop wearing lenses and glasses. This was done in July 2016, last year. The three months that followed were the best months of the past two years. I didn't have any eye pain, and I could fight against my illness (the VS and other visual problems) alltough it still was everywhere, but I felt relieved and accepted that there where very much things that I couldn't do. I could see my closest friends again on a regularly basis, this was everything for me. I tried soccer on a small field (in a team with also people from 60 years old, just pure for the fun of being able to play football and have a beer afterwards), going to school (without reading books) and thought about having a job again, I wanted to forget about everything that had happened. But then, after three months, it all went totally wrong again. My illness went worse again, and at exactly the same time my eyes started to hurt again, very badly. I'm totally lost, and this time I really, really don't know what to do anymore. My illness ruined everything, and my life consists of me trying to do things, but everything I try to do is an total nightmare. It's so bad and also so hard to explain to anyone. I'm still living but it feels like I'm not anymore. Everything that is around me I cannot take part in, and I never have rest because of the eye pain and bad sight. There is no possibility of joy for me in this life and body anymore. I don't know what to do anymore. I only want to be able to be there for my girlfriend, parents, friends and family. I want to be able to have a job, and do something I'm good at, I would do anything to have a normal life and do my study in Economics. Everything has been taken from me, my only joys that I have are the taste of food, and talking with people about things that don't remind me of my illness, even though this is barely possible because of the illness and pain.

My situation has been constant ( always the same illness and everything I'm describing, never a downgrade) from February 2015 - July 5th 2016, and from half november 2016 until now everything has become very very bad even worse than before and now also constant. Always the same, constant illness of everything I'm describing. I don't know why the visual snow and all the other visual symptoms where less worse after I was lasered on 5th July. When everything became worse and worse in November 2016, the constant uncomfortable pain began, the pain I had when wearing lenses, and now always, 24/7 uncomfortable pain.

I will explain the eyesight and eyepain and problems down below. The doctor I spoke about visual snow, and also the other subjects on this forum don't explain some of the things I see. I also can't understand that there are people who say 'I thought everyone had this' or people that can still drive. That clarifies for me that the high dot intension and all the other things I have are also different from many people on this forum. I hope there is at least somebody who can understand me, as eye doctors and neurologists (even those who study on VS) can't understand it.

 It all is 24/7, every second and everywhery in my sight:
I have very small, always vibrating light dots in my sight, and some are above the others and layered or something I guess, i can't really explain. I also have floaters that are always there. Whenever I look at texts, there are vibrating light dots, and especially in the dark looking at my telephone it is impossible to read. The light dots in front of the texts make it completely impossible in combination with other things. Whenever there is a lamp or created light, the light source gives a sort of duplicate of itself, and every light in my vision comes with an right light line at my eye, inside the house and outside the house. There are always different bouncing snow fields on top of other dots.

The eyepain is making everything impossible. I wake up with very painful eyes, and eye tears make everything even worse. The pain is very uncomfortable and makes my eye continually strengthen itself. I can very often barely keep my eye open. I have tried eye tears and everything. The doctors can't find anything as a reason for my pain. No dry eyes, but they feel very dry, or anything else, also not red. There only is a slight irritation of the conjunctivis, thats it. My eyes feel some sort of cold breeze of air often which makes my eyes glow. I always have my eyes strengthening themself because they can't keep themselves open. Also my eye pressure is okay due to doctors. It's very, very strange and makes it impossible to do anything. I also feel my eyes worsening as they have to see all this kind of things, I think. Like when I get on my phone in the dark I feel it in my eyes. The pain is also around my eyes, and i feel it at the bone next to my nose, under my eyes. When I used eye tears this gave an instant extra pain for the rest of the day. The pain and uncomfortability are there the whole day, with everything I'm trying do to. Its always there, and it makes it impossible for me to do things. If this pain wasn't there, i would be able to do more things. My eye condition in words of pain and comfortability is thus very strange and other than normal people, this makes it next to my illness another thing that is very strange about me. My illness + my eye pain/uncomfortability (uncomfortability is always there and my eyes cant keep themselves open very often.) make everything impossible. Doctors now say it isnt' dryness, and they can't find anything wrong, so I have pain and uncomfortability that makes everything impossible but the doctors can't find anything.

I thing there is a relation between the pain and the lines of light and increased illness, because this arose at the same time.

This are the most strange things, and things that my doctors say they don't recognise as VS and also this that make that I'm not like many other people that can still drive, or work, or how hard it may be study or live with this problems:

- When I'm in the dark there are little scintillations everywhere, especially when I've looked at a source of light.
- There are lines everywhere in my vision, this makes it that allthough my eyeshot is nothing wrong with, I can always just follow only parts of my vision.
- When I'm outside in the dark, riding my bike which is dangerous but the only way I can go outside to places that are too far to walk, I see all the lantern lights come at me(even worse when blinking), all the other lights too, in lines from the lanters, and a sort of transparent blocky-like thing. I also can't see a thing of whats on my phone when I try to see what is on it. When I'm walking outside, and trying to look at my phone while walking, I notice that I cant see a thing and have to stop walking to see a little bit of whats on my phone. This all is very hard to explain.
- When I try to look at my phone, and this is very hard to explain, besides all the dots, there are sort of lines between the words. Its just impossible to look at it. Also everywhere are lines coming from it right to my eye, only worse when I blink. I can't understand why people say it is possible to do things with this or to ignore this, I just can't follow a thing of what is going on my screen even though i could eventually tell you which word is standing there.
- When I'm in a car and look at the user interface with lights, especially in dark, it is just so horrific. Everything is very unsharp(even though I don't need glasses) and blurry and light dots are everywhere, dots and lines and layers of dots are everywhere. This makes it impossible to even think about driving, and something like a car is a thing for me I see as the greatest thing ever, because I will never be able to own and drive one with this. I will not be able to make money so I can buy it and also will never be able to see it normally, this is all so far away from me, my condition is so bad.

Over the past two years everything went wrong, and there is no way out for me. There are also things going on besides the visual snow people are describing here. My daily life is waking up with enormous pain in the eye having this going on for the whole day and then go to sleep. I can't look at screens or anything only because of this uncomfortable pain, which makes my eye always strengthen itself, and sometimes just can't keep the eye open.
All the things together in my vision make doing something impossible, I try to so incredibly hard and do everything I can, but there is no life for me in this body. I can't read, learn or really live. It is because of this vision (and pain) that I'm so far from the real world, even though I try very hard to do things. But I will eventually have to give up uni, I can't really interact with my friends any more now or experience happiness. Nobody understands me, and when I read here about people still driving and doing things this makes me feel very alone, I can't do anything with this body but society doesn't know anything about my situation.

I know I can't really explain how my sight is completely ruined to you, but it is just not possible to really feel and interact with things around me anymore in a normal way. I will never give up but there are just no things that I can do anymore, and everything has been taken away from me. Sorry for the hard way to understand this, but it's just not possible for me to read this forum normally or to re-read what I wrote normally and it cost me a very long time to upload this.

I've also never had anything like headaches or tinnitus or migraines.

All the things are very hard to explain, all together they make everything impossible.

I hope I will hear from any of you.

With Kind Regards

Edited 5 times by Boywrts Feb 8 17 6:48 PM.