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Maybe to being slow. I do everything slower than everyone else, that is classwork to say. Yet partly by choice. I take my time.

Yet by being slow, I'm better than everyone else. I could keep rambling on how in all situations except review games that involve speed, being slow is superior to doing things fast. The guy who thinks through a problem fast usually misses something stupid. They are more likely to slip up. Used to do things fast, when challenged with something that takes time, or they do not naturally grasp. They may not give it there whole try, because they are used to getting things done fast and they won't plan enough time to get it done.

I turned in my Math test I took last Monday right when the bell rang. The second to last person turned it in 15 minutes before the bell. I would have worked at least another 10 minutes if given the time. I got the highest grade in the class. 2 points shy of a 100%. I would have gotten it if I checked over other problems, I made 2 mistakes that were insignificant, for If I consciously checked over it I would not have made the mistake. The person next to me turned their test in first. They got a B, and did not like it.

The only people who do better than me are the ones that have such a genetic advantage that I don't even bother worrying about them doing better than me. Because they do it fast, and efficient. Yet I still see those people slip up when I don't. The turtle wins the academic race almost every time.

There are 2 ways to handle VS.

Option 1. Pity. You let it drag you down, its almost a subconscious choice. For with this disability you can get other people's pity. People will feel sorry for you, be nice to you. If they don't, you still feel like your in that bottom position. So it sort of justifies anything that goes wrong in your life. It makes you feel weak and hopeless, yet it takes a lot of energy to do this. So your expressing your angry of VS in this sadness. Through this path, you will probably notice and feel with and for other people with disabilities. You might get closer with these people, for as you know, tragic events often bring people together. Yet ultimately, your bonding through your sadness and possible failures.

Option 2. Strength.

This option is in my opinion the embodiment of the Germanic spirit as expressed in tales such as Wotan's hanging for the magic runes, Faust, Nietzsche's writings, and the music of Richard Wagner. You can say **** you visual snow! You can use your anger from it to try and do better than others around you. Then if you brag about it you can add your Persistant Migraine Aura on top. To show them it was an even greater struggle to achieve what you achieved. You can realize hey, life isn't as great with VS. I wouldn't want to live with even worse health later on. When you make this decision, you do 2 things. You be healthier, so you do not suffer any problesm when you age. You also take risks. Because you may realize life is just going to be a downward slope after your 20's. Your health goes down, the only real thing that raises is your pay check, yet money doesn't make people happy in the end. So you will go all out and try all you can. You hopefully can overcome a fear of death. By taking risks, your life is more thrilling. Though this option has its downfalls too. For yes you may use your VS to fuel you to do more in life, but at the end you might feel lonely. For the farther you climb up the mountain of success, the lonelier you are. Not everyone can climb so high. Your competition might leave you alone.

Now these are 2 extreme examples. Yet if you are getting a lot of emotions from VS (probably negative, anger.) you will channel it in one of 2 ways. Through sadness, or through determination to try more. Yet it might be too much, and combined with other overwhelming situations out of your control, it could lead to depression. Yet I think it does for most peopel regardless, for it is a life changing thing. As I just rambled, it does change your life out look.

I've been doing option 2, only I'm not bragging and avoiding all competition. Yet hell, my VS is really bad right now. I'm not sure if I'm getting angry enough about it to channel it into something helpful. Its sort of making me tired and wanting to get out of this computer. I've spent most of this day here, I blame it and my decision to use the PC.

Bah. What a ramble I made. I hope this proves helpful in some ways. I sort of thought of this on the spot, all see how my ideas hold the test of time. I've read and thought a lot on things, only I find myself depressed for I am lonely. I can't discussing stupids personal situations at all, discussing material possesions gets boring too. I have no one to discuss ideas with though. I don't care about peoples half thought mainstream political opinions either. So I'm already experiencing the negatives of option 2. For my life isn't simple, its complex and lonely now. Its quite fun at times, reading around, doing whatever I want. Though I have a burnout period, which is happening right now. When I just want to be without VS and complex ideas. (Complex for a 16 year old at least.)

PerplexedPigeon.