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ksomething wrote:

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Have you been examined by a docto or psychologist for depression? Do you have sleep problems, loss of appetite and weight? When did the depression start?

My sleep has actually been OK (knock on wood); if anything I sleep too much. Appetite is only compromised when I have severe anxiety, otherwise it has been healthy. No weight loss.

SopuliSusie wrote:

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I think it is really common for people to obsess over health issues when they first hit and change your life so much. Plus you've had someone close to you die unexpectedly. That has got to be a rough combo. I went through a period of depression after a series of diagnoses. Therapy, SSRIs, and some books on coping with illness, and I bounced back from the depression. My regular doctor pretty instantly prescribed the SSRI- I guess many people going through huge health issues become depressed (situational, just like you wrote).

I have to admit that I have spent probably hundreds of hours checking symptoms and such on the internet and in medical journals. Nothing quite like Googling symptoms and everything that comes up is fatal within 5 years, if not the next week. I think at some point I crossed over some ultimate freak-out point and things got better (psychologically, at least). I ended up imagining the ultimate worst case scenario, then wallowing it in for a few days (and I mean really wallowing in it- I didn't get out of bed), and then figuring out how I would deal if that were true. Than I was ok. Well, at least better.

You'll get through it I think just about everyone here is familiar with that depression that hits- so at least you know you're among people who understand, at least a little.

You have no idea how much I relate to this....especially saying after you would wallow in it and not get out of bed. Me too! I had the paramedics come to my house twice in one week for fear of heart attack and stroke. My blood pressure was 170/120 because of panic!!! It's typically 105/65. Then I went to the ER for head Ct scan thinking I had brain tumor. Most recently at the doctor's for fear of kidney failure because I urinated too many times in an hour. I become obsessed and very psychosomatic and convinced to the point of believing I have a few weeks to live. What in the hell is wrong with me??? It's driving me insane.

ksomething wrote:

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In addition to a mild depressive episode with lowered mood and loss of interest, Jodie77 developed an anxiety disorder with a variety of fears and recurring panic attacks that began a month ago after the triggering event of her girlfriend's sudden death from heart attack. According to Jodie77's description, her fears comprised different kinds of fears such as fears associated with perception disturbances and physical symptoms, anxious thoughts, anxieties, which may be associated with panic attacks, and hypochondric fears, such as worrying about somatic functions, or pathological fears of having a certain illness. According to ICD-10, a diagnosis of panic disorder can be made. Panic disorder is a serious health problem but can be successfully treated. The current treatment is a combination of cognitive-behavioral therapy and medication (e.g. Citalopram).

http://www.migraine-aura.org/content/e27891/e27265/e45446/e63078/index_en.html

In 1998 I was hospitalized for severe dehydration, sleep disturbances and major panic disorder (attacks occurring frequently and without warning especially if I traveled far from home) after my brother died. I lost 15 lbs. I've never touched an illegal substance (besides marijuana in highschool--used maybe 3 times); when I was taken to the ER the doctors suspected I was under the influence of crack/cocaine due to hives, pacing the floors, racing heart and vomiting. They ordered blood tests, all came back negative. They called in a psychiatrist from Shepperd Pratt and I was diagnosed with "acute anxiety." They sent me home with a few pills of Xanax and I started seeing a counselor. I recovered for a few years. I was then back in the hospital during the summer of 2000 for another bout of psychosomatic illness after the breakup with a boyfriend. The physicians at Johns Hopkins thought I had MS because I had tingling in my head, stiff neck, difficulty walking, severely dehydrated, swaying, feelings of my back being "wet" (possible nerve disruption), and clenching hands into fists and tightly crossing fingers. I didn't sleep for many nights and started hallucinating....I believe this may have been around the time the palinopsia first occurred twice in the middle of the night (I was on Zoloft) but it went away. They ordered an MRI (came back normal), blood work (normal), CT (normal), and Spinal Tap (could not successfully finish Lumbar Puncture because it wouldn't go through my vertebrae). Neurologist couldn't find anything wrong after full exam. They said, "It must be anxiety." I went home with a box full of oxycontin...I have NO idea why they prescribed me that! I got better after a few months. I saw a specialist; it was post traumatic stress syndrome with severe anxiety and sleep disturbances as a result of my break up. The symptoms went away after a few months.

ksomething wrote:

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From which year on were you prescribed benzodiazepines?

I believe it was around 1998 but cannot be exact. There have been years where I have not taken them at all. Very intermittent. I've been on them more frequently lately because the death of my friend.