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Taking the world in / anxiety

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YoungMale	Taking the world in / anxiety		Lead	[-]
Regular Visitor Posts: 465 04/23/08 12:05 PM	Remove this ad Does anyone else have a problem with taking things in - like remembering and trying to create new memories of times just gone? Anything I try to think about which was good takes me back years. It's really weird to explain. It's like I'm living this life but I'm not. I know it's all to do with the DP/DR but I really am not sure where to turn at the moment. I keep getting loads of anxiety at the moment and having real identity issues. My eyes are playing a huge part in this also - the fact they're fuzzy and constantly covered in static. I sometimes feel like I want to break free from myself and free from my body. Something is holding me back, like I'm cuffed. I feel imprisoned in myself and this life. I'm not thinking straight - I'm finding it hard to hold thoughts - let alone any remotely positive thoughts. Nothing feels clear in my mind, everything feels very unclear and foggy. I feel as though I need to be spoon-fed my life or have to hold someone's hand to guide me through this maze I seem to be stuck in which is essentially, life, or life as 'I' know it. My parents go away next week and I'm pretty fucking worried. Generally speaking I love being on my own and having the place to myself, but I'm really worried about it. What's going on?
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YoungMale		#1	[url]	[-]
Regular Visitor Posts: 465 04/23/08 12:11 PM	Also, whoever has kept track my posts may know, I had my skull fractured (well, facial bones) in 3 places in an attack on vacation a few weeks back. None of it bothered me in the sense that I was shocked or anything - u know stuck in hospital I was like oh well. People asking if I was going to sort my attackers out and well I wasn't bothered about doing that at all. You know people kept saying I'm coping with it all so well. Anyway, last week I had my face punched again for no reason other than stopping a fight... or at least trying to stop a fight in the street. As a result I split my entire top lip straight in half. Spent the next day waiting to be seen @ hospital and had my lip stitched up. Again, this hasn't bothered me in a pissed off sense. Most people and even I would have been pretty annoyed at this and wanting to kill the guy that did it but I don't feel that way inclined. Maybe it's all because of how I'm feeling with life at the moment anyway. Y'know, life is so negative for me right now, what could get worse? Whatever I'm thinking about this life must be a big deal if being attacked twice and put in hospital twice within the matter of a few weeks for no real reason whatsoever.
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YoungMale		#2	[url]	[-]
Regular Visitor Posts: 465 04/23/08 12:24 PM	I've just registered for private health care (in the UK we get NHS which is a free health care provided by the government that part of our taxes pay for but it's pretty shoddy with regards to LONG waiting times, below standard hospitals and care etc). This should help with any further treatment in the future. Hopefully the fact I've mentioned I'm on anti depressents won't hinder getting any psychological help in near future. Will hear back from them once all is confirmed (they have to do all relevent checks with regards to my personal info). Not cheap though! Think it's about £48/month (about $75-$80USD based on current exchange rate).
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janey		#3	[url]	[-]
Regular Visitor Posts: 1008 04/23/08 12:45 PM	Hi Youngmale, sorry you are feeling this way. My mind plays many tricks on me, well tricks is probably not the right word. I do know how you feel. I experience looads of weird experiences. The experiences I had recently when I was suffereing from anxiety dp/dr.....I went to the supermarket and had real trouble recognising every day things like, I would look at a tin of beans and panic because I wasnt sure if I really knew what a tin of beans was or if I had ever seen a tin of beans before in my life!!!!! Also. the trip I take to school everyday with my daugter, there is one roundabout on this journey and very often when I get there, I panic because I dont recongnise it. I travel that way every day but I dont recognise that one island.....I panic because I dont know where I am.....stupid I know but these experiences make me worry about my sanity and really bother me.....
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dftedmind		#4	[url]	[-]
Registered User Posts: 3 04/23/08 12:48 PM	sounds like it been pretty rough for you recently. i was in a similar place last year. i was feeling pretty close to what you were describing. its at that point when most of the effects of visual snow and floaters became apparent to me. smoking alot of pot and hallucinigens didnt help ease things though just made me more anxious and lost. but i gave all that up moved 1300 hundred miles away from all my freinds and have had alot of alone time with my thoughts and myself. if your strong enough to get through the roughest times, you slowley start identifying with who you are now and detach from who you were. find things that bring you self up and get ready for things to change more and more each and every day.
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megamousefart		#5	[url]	[-]
Regular Visitor Posts: 21 04/23/08 4:23 PM	Remove this ad I feel the same way. At first (six or so months ago) I started questioning my own reality (as in, who I am.) I realized that I see the world with my own two eyes only and that my body was the only thing anchoring me to the world and that any one small accident could end that. That's when I started wishing for a way to free myself from my own body, crazy, I know, but I really would dream about stuff like that! After that I just lost it I guess. I got really anxious about death. I would try to go to bed at night with a heart that felt like it was about to burst (anxiety). Then came these visual symptoms. Now I just feel broken. If I ever laugh at a friends joke or smile its forced, false.
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guruforever		#6	[url]	[-]
Registered User Posts: 31 04/23/08 5:56 PM	I can relate to that definitely. But I used to read Krishnamurti. Nuffin wrong with questioning reality, and the perception of what is this... very strange sometimes when your sitting there and it's like WTF???? but man... take it as an advantage... live life to the full while you can
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janey		#7	[url]	[-]
Regular Visitor Posts: 1008 04/24/08 3:49 AM	Jim Morrison of The Doors was spot on when he said (of life and reality)........ there's something not quite right........ it was this attitude that prompted his life style and as a consequence he pushed life to the limits and lived on the edge
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mjb1966		#8	[url]	[-]
Newbie Posts: 17 04/24/08 7:19 PM	YoungMale wrote: It's really weird to explain. It's like I'm living this life but I'm not. I know it's all to do with the DP/DR but I really am not sure where to turn at the moment. I keep getting loads of anxiety at the moment and having real identity issues. My eyes are playing a huge part in this also - the fact they're fuzzy and constantly covered in static. Certainly not weird to me. I felt like that when I was 12 (1978) after a traumatic life-saving brain operation. It was (I know now) derealisation and severe anxiety - it's eased slightly over the years (30) but never gone away - I've got used to it. But at times I still feel I'm playing out a role, even though I function normally , no problems at work, and am happily married. I've always had VS so the anxiety disorder and DR didn't actually make things any worse for me. I post on a DP/DR board and most folk there have anxiety. The 2 are obviously related. A surprisingly large minority there have VS too..that may be HPPD for some of them though. I've had DP too, usually only when my anxiety is really bad, can't stand to look at the stranger in the mirror. If you're not being treated for anxiety I would definitely see your GP, or with your private insurance maybe you can see an anxiety counsellor or psychotherapist. Wish I could afford private healthcare but I work for the Government, so it's the NHS for me I had a "breakdown" in 1993, I felt a lot like you do now. But I came out the other side (albeit with medication) and you will too. Your perspective will return to normal. But I would advise you to see a Doc regarding anxiety disorder. Hope your condition starts to improve soon.
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ksomething		#9	[url]	[-]
Registered User Posts: 5010 04/26/08 6:26 PM	Young Male, I still believe that at least a subsyndromal = partial = subthreshold PTSD may be the cause for the increased anxiety, so I can only support your decision to visit a psychiatrist and I would recommend continuation of Citaloprame which is effective not only in depression but also in PTSD (usual doasage 40 mg per day) http://www.migraine-aura.org/content/e27891/e27265/e42285/e42290/e55289/e61598/index_en.html
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shannon3fh		#10	[url]	[-]
Regular Visitor Posts: 449 04/28/08 10:56 AM	Remove this ad just wanted to say i hope youre feeling ok. at first when all of this started happening to me i was very sad /angry all the time and i felt like i didnt know how i was going to make it through another day...but then i realized that its not the worst thing in the world and i started REALLY focusing on everything right in my life. it is very hard at first but over time it works. hope your anxiety goes down a bit!
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